Does this sound familiar: You work in an environment where there always  seems to be some sort of strife going on; some say say that’s causing a co-worker deep stress. By keeping your head down you manage to stay out of it. You keep a low profile and nobody could hear your opinions or comments on the matter. You think you can remain above it all. But one day, the rumor mill begins a spin on you. And as the saying goes, “who feels it knows it”.

Many persons I’m sure can identify with this situation for after all, mischief is no respecter of persons. It doesn’t matter who you are, or how high or how low your position is; nobody is immune to the threats of gossip, or the injuries that can be experienced by innuendo. I’ve been there. And I can offer some simple tips on how to survive the workplace melee without letting it affect your performance.

Tip #1. Confront the problem head on. Whoever comes to you and bring you sad tidings from a third party, tell them you are not interested in hearing it if they cannot name the third party. If they are unable or unwilling to identify the source of the lie they are repeating, simply shrug it off. Some people feel they have to respond to everything, but if you don’t have a target to launch a direct response, you’ll only be wasting your energies, feeding the propaganda and being distracted from your duties, which will give others reason to malign you with whatever the negative rumor that’s being spread.

Tip #2. If you’re confronted directly by someone who accuses you of misconduct, demand that they prove it. Often it’s only on “hearsay” that people are being accused and punished and it’s incumbent on the accused to demand proof or to provide proof to the contrary in defense of his or her good name and reputation. It’s considered ethical to treat a person as innocent until proven guilty. Our courts of justice function on that premise.  Persons who are aggrieved by others who falsely accuse them, spread harmful information that causes defamation of character, can seek legal redress.

Tip #3. Never discuss your personal business with co-workers, unless you have to, and if so, give only the barest of details. It is wise to keep certain things to yourself, because relationships change, and a pal who you confide in today, may somehow turn against you tomorrow, and all confidences will go out the window. That’s just the way people seem to operate and there’s no way to predict when a fall-out will take place.

Tip #4. Be sympathetic to someone who trusts you. It’s true that everyone needs a shoulder to cry on sometime. Nobody is ever so strong, so efficient, so perfect that the burdens of life cannot overwhelm them at some time, especially when there are circumstances beyond one’s control. A colleague may need someone to just listen. Lend your ear; offer practical advice; keep the information confidential. Imagine if it were you in that person’s place. You never know when it will be your turn.     

Living by the Golden Rule

A simple rule of thumb in dealing with workplace challenges is to think of how you would like to be treated. Don’t do to others what you wouldn’t like done to you. If you offer to help someone, do it with sincerity. Don’t let someone tell you all their business and then you take it on the street. If you don’t want to be involved let the person know up front that you are sorry you can’t help them, and you may suggest someone else who might.

Some people find it uncomfortable to speak to professionals because they feel that such persons are only doing it for the pay, and the outcome does not to matter to them one way or the other. A friend or colleague is sometimes the closest thing to real good counseling. Be supportive, non-judgmental and honest with your advice. 

As I said earlier, mischief is no respecter of persons. As long as you’re a part of an organisation; family, society or any sort of group, you will come face to face with problems relating to people. Conflict resolution techniques are important to learn. Understanding the culture of an environment is necessary in order to survive in that environment. Prepare yourself. Know your rights, demand them and defend them.

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Copyright © 2008 by CMS Literary Services

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